A lot to catch up on

"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings--And why the sea is boiling hot--And whether pigs have wings." -- Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter"

I thought that was an appropriate start to this blog. I have a lot to cover and I have always loved that line when I think in terms of having lots to talk about that has little bearing on the reality of my life. That's mostly what this blog is about in the first place. If you are looking for the entire poem, and got here through some odd Google search, the best link I have found is here. Sorry to have led you astray.

The last week was my cruise. Oh my!! What a wonderful experience that was. I will cover each port in some detail below, but wanted to start with some general cruise observations.

General cruise thoughts

Cruises are horrifically expensive. After the cost of the cruise itself and the airfare, the money is just really starting to add up. Sign up for a soda special if you get the chance. I didn't, and had to pay the cost at the ship after the fact, but the normal cost for a single coke was 2 bucks, and the drink program was only 6 per day (4 if I had bought it early.) The ship offered WiFi at a cost of $.50 per minute!! That's insane! I am sure they have well made back any costs associated with the connection, and it wasn't all that fast to begin with. I tried to connect, but ended up not wanting to sink that kind of money into a hole. Souvenir glasses are nice, but there is no real need to keep selling the damned things! We came home with a ton of glassware, and that meant a carry on bag I would not want to haul around again. :-) Formal nights are a pain in the ass, and seem to be more a guideline than a requirement. One of the couples at our table the man didn't bring a single jacket or tie and he got served both nights. I may consider that for next time.

I don't know how to marry the two issues of vacations and cruises. I know that summer is the hurricane season, but so is it vacation season. That means that you have the chance to get your cruise intinerary changed at the will of the weather. Kind of sucks. I just can't see taking a winter cruise, though I imagine I will have to try just to see what the difference is.

"The more you booze, the better your cruise." That is a good thing to remember. Just be aware that hangovers at sea can really suck! And, of course, see the glassware discussion above. LOL

San Juan, Puerto Rico

San Juan was an interesting city. Since it is technically the 51st state (they have representatives in the House, but no senators) there are US influences all over. We went to the old fort, and it is now a US National Park Service Park. LOL The town itself is old, crowded and dirty. There is rampant poverty, and panhandlers abound. I never know how to feel about panhandlers. I feel sorry for their plight, but I am rarely inclined to give them money. It isn't because they'll misuse the funds, I couldn't care less if they use it to shoot up, or to drink their life away. I just don't like handing out money for lost causes, and once you give them something, they expect more. I don't know. I think the older I get, the more Republican I get.

The old fort was interesting to see. It had been originally built by Columbus during his first voyages to the New World. Then it was extended by the Spanish until the end of the Spanish American War. Lastly, it was extended again during WW II, though I am not really sure why. It is a sprawling mass of stone and brick, and has cannon, and ramparts for howitzers and other modern killing machinery.

We did lots of shopping here. It is duty free because it is technically part of the US. That makes it nice. Colleen found the Coach Outlet, and we scored what she tells me are excellent prices on Coach purses (though if those are good prices I'd hate to see bad ones. lol) We found her another charm for her charm bracelet, and some silver and white gold jewelry she is pretty excited about. What can I say? I am a sucker for buying the woman I love gifts.

We found a little cafe off the beaten path we popped into quickly. The proprietor was very nice. We had two different plantain appetizers. One was green plantains, mashed with bacon and corn meal and then fried in balls. The other was traditional fried yellow plantains. Both went well with Corona. :-) We also caught a little music near the docks. It was calypso in nature and probably designed to lure tourists like us into the flea market, but we were tired and ready to head back to the boat.

Phillipsburg, St Maarten, N.A.

This is an interesting island. It is only 37 square miles total, and hosts two distinct countries. We landed in St. Maarten, which is part of the Dutch Antilles. The other side of the island is part of the French West Indies. I cost us an hour of our time on the island (and of our lives in general) by submitting to listening to what looks like an innovative way to do Time Share. It was an interesting premise, and at the end I was promised a 3 day 2 night vacation, but we'll see. This looks more like I wasted our time. Colleen likely will never forgive me that one.

More shopping, this time some for me. I got a new diamond earring. The first earring I have bought for myself in a ton of years. I had hoped to get a pair, or something unusual for the second, but I still have the starter post in that hole. LOSER!!! Colleen got a pendant to match the ring she got in San Juan. It was a good price, and I couldn't resist. :-)

We took an excursion called the Land and Sea Tour. This let us get onto a bus and drive around the island. We got to see both sides, the Dutch and the French. We saw some really pretty countryside, though the island has few natural resources, and living there in my mind would be out of the question. The housing was either very poor, or very opulent. I suspect it is a function of the region. There is either abject poverty, or rich foreigners that inhabit the island at various times. When we got to Marigot, the capital of the French side, we stopped at a flea market. We got the chance to have lunch (local cuisine, which was quite tasty) on creole shrimp and some local beer. We then wandered through the flea market and I found my loud Carribean shirt. I will likely get few chances to wear it, but what the heck, it was fun. When we got to the sea portion, it was in a desolate little coastal town on the French side. Very narrow roads, quite run down looking. We got onto a boat they call a partial submarine. It is basically a boat that has converted the hull into a seating area with viewing windows for tourists. They drove us into a shallow reef area and then the diver dropped overboard. He proceeded to "chum" the waters to attract local tropical fish. We saw quite a few interesting creatures. We also saw an Eagle Ray (a form of Sting Ray, but far more rare and solitary) and a sea turtle. A lot of coral, and at one point, it struck me as very similar to European Vacation when Chevy had been stuck in the roundabout for hours and was saying glumly "Big Ben, Parliament" because the woman guide just kept saying "brain coral, finger coral, fire coral" over and over. While driving back in, there were some nude sunbathers on the beach, but I attribute that to the region. Colleen and I ran down to the water to get a picture of her in the water. She was happy. :-)

St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands

Ooops! We missed this port due to the impending problems with Hurricane Emily. You can see here the basis for their choice, though I fail to see why. The wind swath of hurricane force winds doesn't come close to the position of the island. No hurricane itself, but for safety reasons, we turned tail and headed back to sea early. Maybe it was just due to the chances of choppy seas and lots of rain. It just meant the day at sea was earlier, and that we spend more time in Nassau.

Nassau, Bahamas

I personally am not a huge fan of Nassau in general. The people are, in my opinion, generally lazy and don't seem to really be interested in tourism in general. We got hammered by people wanting to braid hair, provide cab rides, rent scooters, bracelets "for the children" and taking our picture with our own camera and then asking for money for the "service." Nassau is a pretty town for the most part. We took a horse drawn carriage tour around the city and got to hear some of the history.

While on the island, we did take a brief jaunt over to Paradise Island. There is a massive hotel resort and casino on that island named Atlantis. Part of the theme is they have created the world's largest salt water aquarium in what they call the ruins of Atlantis. You walk through a ton of tunnels and get to see huge amounts of fish, sting rays, moray eels, etc.. There is a souvenir shop near the end of it hawking various merchandise. Another interesting item was the water slide. It is much like regular water park slides, with one big exception. At one point, the slide enters a clear tube that goes into a shark tank. You are safely behind the plexiglass, but you do slide into a shark tank that has real meat eating sharks. It seemed quite exhilarating a concept, but it closes well before we got there. They have the same thing with a lazy river so that you can float through the shark tank on an inner tube with a drink in your hand.

We got caught in a downpour trying to get from the pier to the ship. It was only 200 or so yards, but it was heavy enough that we got soaked to the bone. Because the ship doesn't ventilate moisture well, we ended up having to bring home wet clothes from that little shower.

We found the best coffee in a chain coffee store. Segafredo Zanetti espresso is very tasty and in Nassau was very reasonable.

We went to a beach as part of the Nassau experience. I wasn't too keen on it, but Colleen wanted to go, so we went. We found a public beach, which meant more street hawkers pushing crap on us that we didn't want. Even one that was willing to sell most illicit drugs you can find. Of course, that's not something I was going to risk anyway. Too many chances to end up in a jail in a foreign country.

The highlight of Nassau was the Dolphin Encounter. It wasn't swimming with the dolphins, but I got up close and personal with one anyway. It does rote tricks with the trainer behind you, but I don't care. They are damned bright mammals, and always amaze me. We bought some pictures and took some. I am working on getting them out onto the web site so look for them there soon. It was on a private barrier island that had an old rampart from some fort, so I snapped a quick picture of that. I also took a few seconds of Quicktime video of another group doing the encounter. It was cool. Colleen loved it, and if we get the chance, we'll definitely do it again.

Heading Home

The disembarkation (is that a word? The opposite of embarkation at any rate) from the ship is somewhat a well oiled goat rodeo. You are required to pack your luggage, tag it, and leave it outside your stateroom the night before you get off the boat. Then, it is whisked away and stored by the crew. That means first off if you need a shower the next morning, plan on carrying at least parts of your toiletries as carry off the boat (you can check them later at the airport if you like.) The bags are color coded. You have to get out of your stateroom by 8AM, but you may not be called to leave the ship until as late as 10:30 AM. As each color group is offloaded, drug dogs sniff the bags to make sure you didn't bring back more of the islands than you should have. ;-) Then, once that process is complete, that group of passengers is allowed to get off the boat. We got an 8:30 call, so it wasn't too bad. You have to claim your luggage, and then you are on your own. If you have booked travel with the cruise line, they will aid you in getting to the airport, and American Airlines does baggage check in at the boat terminal so you don't have to sweat the details. As we did not fly American, we were forced to schlep our bags to a bus and then check them in at the airport. We flew back home through Fort Lauderdale. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT on pain of death. It sucked seriously. They require you to check in, then stand in line to send your baggage through TSA scans, then stand in another line to go through security checkpoints. We got to the airport at just before 10AM, with a 1PM flight, and used almost all of the three hours to get through the whole process. In the meantime, I was lugging a bag full of barware (see above) and it wasn't pretty. Still, we did get home and had a proper nap in our own bed which was well worth it all.

So, I guess that about concludes my list of things to catch up on. I have swirled around a ton of things. Most of it associated with the cruise. I will post again soon enough dear reader. :-)